1. You can spell supralapsarian.
2. When asked to name the twelve apostles you say Matthew, John, James, Andrew, Peter, Nathaniel, Phillip, Simon, Thomas, Augustine, Luther and Calvin.
3. You used to be a Baptist.
4. You started drinking ("in moderation" of course) after you left the Baptist church and became a Presbyterian.
5. When the spirit comes upon you in power, you don't raise your hands and shout Hallelujuah, rather you scratch your chin, turn to your neighbor and whisper "hmmm, . . . that was a good point."
6. You think fencing has something to do with the Lord's Supper instead of swords.
7. You've considered church discipline for people who watch the NFL on Sunday afternoon.
8. They aren't "catholics," or even "Roman Catholics." They're "Papists."
9. Instead of going to prophecy conferences where they talk about Star-Trek eschatology and the mark of the Beast, you attend conferences on "life and culture", art, social justice and other high- brow things like that. Afterwards, you go to the local pub and talk about enlightenment philosophy and soteriology over a pint of dark beer.
10. You attend a church which has a name closer to "Grace Covenant Fellowship" rather than a church that calls itself something like "The Washed In The Blood, Berean, Bible-Believing, Charismatic Tabernacle and Worship Center".
I completely agree except with #4. It is not that Presbyterians are the only ones who drink, we are the only ones who will admit it.
ReplyDeleteI would say something like, “You might be a Presbyterian if you now drink at the local pub instead of only at home with all the doors locked and the lights down low.”
Matthew
Hey Matthew that was great. I visited a mega PCA church in Bham and the Pastor talked about drinking wine at dinner!
ReplyDelete