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| * This is to prove a point. I wouldn't be glad and I don't watch porn. |
"Comparison is the thief of joy."
I read that somewhere recently and was struck by how true it is. If I compare myself to other women, I will always fall short. And then instead of being thankful for the unique gifts and talents God has given me, I can fall into the trap of coveting. The same is true when we compare our husbands to other men; especially men that aren't "real".
Eric and I were both virgins when we got married and I can say that there is no better gift you can give your spouse than the gift of freedom. The gift of not having to worry about being compared. It is the best gift Eric has ever given me and I thank God for it constantly!
I'm sure we've all felt the sting at one time or another of being compared to someone who wasn't "real". We drive by a billboard of a barely dressed, airbrushed model and feel insecure. We know our husband saw the picture and we feel pressure to measure up. In our minds we are supposed to look like her- even though SHE doesn't even look like her since she's so airbrushed. It is a horrible feeling. Why would you want to make your husband feel that way? So, since we know the sting of comparison, why are we venturing into the waters of setting our husbands up for failure? Christian Grey is not real. Neither is Magic Mike. Instead of drooling over them, thank God for the husband He gave you (or will give you) and resolve to love your husband by not comparing him. These artificial men might seem not to have faults, much as the airbrushed women seem, and then we become exasperated with our husband for not being perfect. He might not talk about it as much, or at all, but YOUR HUSBAND DOES HAVE FEELINGS!
50 Shades of Grey and Magic Mike are pornography! I would have never heard of either of these if it weren't for FB. So many of my friends are very excited and openly lustful about this book and movie. Why is this dangerous? First of all, because it is sinful. Sin is always dangerous because, though it might look appealing and acceptable, it always leads us further away from God further into a pattern of disobedience. Sin always leads to our own harm- every single time. Also, the book and movie are dangerous because they are creating unreal standards for our husbands to live up to. (If you are not married, it is still sinful. And it can harm your future relationship.)
Let me pause here and say that I'm not intending for this to be my own condemnation of anyone. The Bible itself condemns this and though I haven't read 50 Shades of Grey or seen Magic Mike, I have certainly lusted before. So, this is not me standing here pointing fingers and pretending to be perfect. I'm not and I'm pretty sure all of you know that. However, this issue has been huge lately and very openly celebrated- even by some professing believers. My intent is to shed light on the darkness, show that God does not condone this behavior, and encourage all of us to examine ourselves, recognize sin as sin, and repent.
Apparently, the book 50 Shades of Grey includes themes like bondage and sadomasochism. Sadomasochism is "the receiving of pleasure—often sexual—from acts involving the infliction or reception of pain or humiliation". What a perversion of what sex was designed to be! In the Song of Solomon we have a beautiful, pure picture of what sex should be. It should be between a married couple. It should never involve pain or humiliation. It is about loving your spouse, not hurting or humiliating him/her.
"Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved, truly delightful."
Song of Solomon 1:16
"His left hand is under my head and his right hand embraces me."
Song of Solomon 8:3
Do you hear the chasteness here? It is not at all the same as the trash we are being told we should read and/or watch.
Please don't say "Well, men have their version of pornography and now women have an option." Is someone else's sin a justification for your own? No. When you stand before God the "Well...HE did it, too!" excuse will seem just as flimsy as it actually is! Those of you with children can recognize the irrelevance of that argument. Children love to blame their sin on each other. (And if we're honest with ourselves we adults still do it sometimes as well.) Little Jimmy steals and cookie and says, "Well, Susie took one, too!" Has that ever worked on you as a parent? "Well, shucks Jimmy. I suppose you're right. It's not fair that Susie gets to sin and you don't. Go ahead, son!" That's absurd. The same is true of us when we use that excuse. True intimacy is never fostered by seeing or imagining sexual encounters with anyone other than your husband. In fact, your intimacy with your husband is hurt every time you lust.
Focus your energies on loving your own husband. Focus on respecting him as the Bible says to do.
"...let the wife see that she respects her husband."
Ephesians 6:33
If you caught your husband viewing pornography would that make you feel respected? Umm...no! So, do not disrespect him in this way.
**It doesn't just stop here. Posting pictures of celebrities with captions like "yummy" is also showing that you are lusting. How about instead of leaving you children with your husband while you go out to a "yummy" concert or movie with your girlfriends, you stay home and be the wife your husband needs? Be a wife that refuses to compare him to other men. Be the wife that recognizes the dangers of pornography in all of its forms. Be the wife that chooses to respect her husband by longing only for him.
Get to this place of longing only for him by thanksgiving. Be thankful to God for you husband!
"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is...giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."
Ephesians 5:15, 16, & 20
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